I don’t want to get out of my bed.

I don’t want to get out of my bed. It’s warm. The thick covers on my body makes me feel safe and secure. The atmosphere in my room makes me feel safe. I don’t want to move from my bed. I don’t want to pull off the covers. I don’t want to have that feeling of cool air hitting my warm skin, waking me up. I don’t want to push my body upwards. I don’t want to stand from my bed. I don’t want to put my cold slippers on. I don’t want to walk out of my room and be hit by that yellow hallway's paint. I don’t want to go to the bathroom. I don’t want to brush my teeth. I don’t want to take a shower. I don’t want to pee or poo. I just don’t want to eat.

I don’t want to get out of my bed

I haven’t showered since last night. I can feel my stench of the night warming up in my freshly cleaned sheets. I can feel my skin getting clammy. I can feel my skin getting itchy. I can feel my face getting oily.

I don’t want to get out of my bed.

I haven't eaten yet. I can feel my energy lowering. I can feel my throat getting dry. I can feel my stomach recognizing its emptiness. I can feel my teeth getting heavier I can feel my tongue getting thick.

I don’t want to get out of my bed.

I woke up and it’s was noon. I had plans to wake up early and get a good start of the day. But I fell asleep late. And now I woke up and it was noon. The day is already almost over. Why should I get up

I don’t want to get out of my bed.

Want? Or need? Do I want to get up? No. Do I need to get up? No! I don’t want, need, should, can, or anything. I can do what I want. But why do I feel so solemn when I have these thoughts?

Why is it that when I am on break? My laziness creates a dark cloud over my brain. I hate being lazy. I hate being homey. I don’t like it. I want to run, walk, jump anything. I want to learn my lines for my play. I want to start working out. I want to start making preparations for my alkaline journey. I want to go take a walk with my dog. I want to go to my parents’ room and annoy them. I want to go watch more Dramas. I want to go to learn more Korean.

But I don’t want to get out of bed...

It starts there, doesn’t it?

Getting out of bed.

I’ll get out of my bed. I’ll be expecting all of what I have written. I’ll get out for the sake of starting a day. Or a moment. I’ll get out for the sake of my health. My mental and physical. I’ll get out because eventually, I’ll have to get in again. And I want to have that feeling of being in bed after a long time of not being in it.

I’ll get out because I want to.

I am getting out of my bed.