Forever In Your Arms

FOREVER IN YOUR ARMS

The hurt ones always seem to be the blindest. There are some things that people can’t accept, that people are afraid of. There are some things that people don’t feel like they deserve, but everyone deserves love. Understanding it and knowing how it feels to have that energy all around you can seem foreign to some, but when it comes, no one wants to let it go.

Aurelia sat in the dark of her room waiting for her parents to fall asleep. Once there was nothing but the sound of heavy breathing, she made her way out her room and to the front door where she quietly opened it. Outside stood a boy. He had long curly brown hair and big brown eyes. He smiled wide when she came outside.

The two walked to the fields near Aurelia’s house. They spoke of simple things like their day and plans that were to come.

“It’s a bit cold tonight don’t you think?” Aurelia said while crossing her arms.

“You’re the one who always chooses the coldest nights” He replied while putting his arms around her. They both smiled at each other.

Aurelia leaned her head on the boy and they stared up at the stars. It was a beautiful night, not one cloud to be seen. She didn’t want to go home, she didn’t want to leave his arms.

Once she got back home, she crawled back into her bed. She felt warmth in her blankets the same way she felt warmth in his arms, in Adam’s arms. Tears started streaming down her face as she let her mind wander and bring her back…

…Two months prior…

Aurelia sat in the fields near her home drawing pictures of the mountains that surrounded her. A large gust of wind sent the loose pages that were laying on the ground flying. Aurelia quickly got up and ran after them. They went in all sorts of directions she didn’t know which way to go.

A boy saw the pages flying and tried catching a few to help the girl who was running all over the place. Once Aurelia had caught as many pages as possible the boy walked up to her.

“I think you lost these.” He said handing her the drawings.

“Yes, I did, thank you.” She replied shyly. She knew she must have looked like a mess.

The boy had a sweet smile, it was delicate and she felt safe around him.

“Oh, I’m Aurelia by the way.” She said.

The boy laughed, her shyness amused him, “Hi Aurelia, I’m Adam”.

The two sat on the small hill and talked for a while. Adam wasn’t from Italy; he was from Lebanon. Aurelia was surprised, it must have been an awfully long trip to Castelmola. Adam had moved to Italy this year. He was staying in the small guest house his cousin owned.

“Your family didn’t come with you?” Aurelia asked.

“No, they didn’t.” Adam replied.

“Why?” She continued.

“It’s a long story.” Adam said.

They never spoke of it again.

The two kept on meeting. It started off by being now and again, to every week, to at least twice a week. They would walk in the fields and go to the beach and sit. They wouldn’t talk much, but the connection of their two bodies touching was filling a void that neither knew they needed filling.

One night, as they sat on the beach while the waves hit the shore, Adam looked deeply into Aurelia’s eyes. He was fascinated by the story they told him but also afraid. He put his hand on her face and she didn’t make a move. Adam closed his eyes, and Aurelia closed hers.

He touched her soft lips with his and they kissed while their tongues danced in each other's mouth. But Aurelia pulled back and looked away. Her heart was beating rapidly while his was barely able to keep up.

“I don’t know about this Adam.” She said while looking away.

“Don’t know about what?” He asked, afraid of her answer.

“I don’t think I could be with someone; I don’t know if I want to be with someone. I don’t know if I’m ready, you don’t know me.”

“Then let me learn about you, I want to learn about you.”

“No, I, I just don’t know, I’m so confused, I don’t know what to do. I’m so fucked up Adam, when you will finally see me for who I am, you won’t want me”

“Listen, I don’t know what I want either, but this feels good, doesn’t it feel good?”

“Yes it does feel good”

“Then, let's keep it the way it is. I’m fucked up too, we both have good things and bad things. We can fix each other.” He added.

Aurelia didn’t answer. Fix each other she wondered. Was that even possible? She met this boy only a few weeks ago and now he wants to fix her. She didn’t even know if she was capable of fixing him.

“Say something.” He said, “I’m sorry for kissing you, maybe I shouldn’t have, I just, I don’t know.” Adam continued.

Aurelia turned around and looked at him. She took his hand and leaned her head on his chest. He then fell silent and let Aurelia sink into him while he put his arms around her. Whatever was going on in Aurelia’s head Adam would never know, not even Aurelia was able to figure that out herself.

Thinking he may never see her again, Adam waited for Aurelia at the top of the small hill where they first met. There was this nervousness in him he had never felt before, it was odd and uncomfortable. He saw her approaching, her hair was flying in the wind, she was beautiful, he always thought so.

The two stood facing each other and smiled, they were happy. They did not talk about what had happened. They spent the day together watching the clouds in the sky move with the wind while talking a bit more about themselves. They watched as the sky went from bright blue to orange, it was amazing.

“I have to leave.” Adam said.

“Oh already? Okay.” Aurelia replied.

“No, I mean, I have to leave, I’m leaving Castelmola.” He added.

“You’re going back to Lebanon?” She asked.

“Yes, for a bit, but I’ll try to come back in a few months.” Adam replied.

“When are you leaving?” Aurelia asked. She tried her best not to show him this did anything to her.

“In a week.” Adam said.

It was a punch to her stomach. A week. That was so soon. But she played it off, he was going to come back, it wasn’t a big deal.

“I guess you are pretty excited to see your family again.” She added.

“Yeah.” He replied.

After a few more hours the two departed. Aurelia couldn’t stop thinking about him leaving, why did he have to leave. It was so sudden and unexpected as a tear came sliding down her face. She tried to push it away but more started pouring down her face. She couldn’t comprehend why she was crying. She tried to make it stop but it wouldn’t. What was happening to her?

Aurelia laid in her bed. She didn’t know why she was feeling this way. They don’t love each other; they are just filling each other's voids. They are both missing something and they are temporarily replacing the thing they need until they find it. That was the agreement, that’s what they were, and Aurelia didn’t want to believe it was something more.

They spent almost every day together before Adam left. The days seemed to be shorter and the date of his departure came closer and closer.

Aurelia sat in the dark of her room waiting for her parents to fall asleep. Once there was nothing but the sound of heavy breathing, she made her way out her room and to the front door where she quietly opened it. Outside stood Adam, with that same curly brown hair and big brown eyes. She knew today was going to be the last night they would spend together.

They sat in the field and stared up at the stars. They were so beautiful and so bright.

“They are almost as beautiful as you Aurelia.” Adam said to her.

She held him tight as she kissed him. She didn’t want him to let her go, she wanted to sleep in his arms forever…